FINAL UPDATE:
I'm behind in providing the "end of my story", replacing the stern thruster pin. Here's the update:
Last report, I could not remove the two bolts holding the thruster in place. After torching them for a while... and two different penetrating oils... and more brut force, I finally got them off. I did try the special hex tool, mentioned above, but that wasn't very helpful (too small, needed more leverage). So, my 6mm hex wrench that I cut on short side (about 1/4 inch) fit better and did the trick. This thruster either needs a new wrench or different bolts!
So, after putting everything back together again, the replacement pin worked for ONE day and broke. Yes, it was not a good day. At least I knew what I was doing the second time and bolts were lubed. I won't get into why these pins seem overly sensitive. I get their purpose, but they may need to be calibrated by the manufacturer a bit more.
I put the boat into winter storage a week later and called it a year. Good luck to all those replacing their stern thruster pin.