I think your dealer is taking too narrow of a view. The facts are that engines do fail and fail a lot as I read the many posts on the tugnuts site. They fail for all kinds of reasons and usually at the worst time, wind and waves and rocks.
I think the kind of boating you intend to do is key in the decision. If you are doing the Alaska passage, I'd really want an auxiliary. 5 grand for peace of mind is pretty cheap, and yes, the kicker should be used regularly and should be well maintained.
If you are only day cruising and have emergency tow insurance and people close by who can get to you, then the kicker value is less.
High value yachts have what is called a "wing engine" which can be tied into the prop drive train when the main goes down. That is because even on million dollar yachts, engines can go down. Often, it is the insurance company that wants that wing engine.
Yes, the power head may not quit, but what about that sub surface log, or that unintended grounding etc. That is when the auxiliary comes into it's own. Anything from bad fuel at the top of the engine to a problem with the transmission or the prop at the bottom of the engine can make you wish you had the auxiliary. Yes, you can change a bad prop on the main, but try doing it in 20 knots and high waves.
Just my two bits, having flown a million miles on airliners all of which had at least two engines, one of which failed on a flight over the ocean.